MeRdEKA

HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY TO MY COUNTRY!!!

It's Malaysia's Independance Day!! Yeeeeup, that means we have a day off today... Haha, I'm the jerk of the country... =p

Well,.. there's nothing much really for me to do today... I've just finished watching "Click", unlike what the previews said, I totally enjoyed it... ^_^

Apparently, there's nothing much here in Tawau for today. I don't intend to go downtown and watch the National Day parade... Haha, in fact I never done so!!! Throughout my whole life, Merdeka has always been spent at home, watching the national level celebration via televison, but now that I'm older... I just sleep through the whole occasion. Such patriotisme, huh? XD Lousy way to spend merdeka... What can i say... My friends won't hangout today... Argh... Feeling sooooo lousy!

Hmm... Well so I've decided that today is finishing my homeworks + try to study if it's possible day... I've gotta finish up the load of homeworks that have been piled up in my desk for ages, plus my final exams are like three weeks away... At this rate, of totally not paying attention in class, spenidng more time in fornt of the com than studying and sleeping for more than 12 hours during the holidyas... I bet you I will fight my place to get the last place in class, thus, marking myself, the dunzo of the year...

So... aiight desicions have been made... Here I have to go... Bruning my arse in front of the silly book... Ugh....... Blog ya later!!

WiSHiNG TwAS XmAS

Well, I was really eager to post this up yesterday, but apparently, I was too tired, that I went home, had dinner, bathe and about 7.30 pm feel asleep until this morning, 8.45 am!!! Hahaha... sleeping freak...!!!

As you cna see, the title above, I'm like... CHIRSTMAS SICK!!! XD it's still like a long way before Christmas... Hell, yea, Hari Raya and Deepavali is nearaer compared to like... Xmas!!! Yet, I'm like... anticipating for Christams the whole day in school yesterday... Singing carols haha...It freaked my friends out... Maybe because it was rianing heavily during recess yesterday... i don't know...

Hmm... thinking about Chrisrmas makes me realised that i havent like... celebrated a proper Chirstmas before... Seriously.. Basically, my dad's a Buddisht, Tawau is a punny town Chirtsmas is like.. nothing... So, you get the picture huh???

All I really want for Christmas this year... is to be celebrating it in KL!!! But my ultimate dream of Chirstmas is kinda different compared to most of my friends... They would lurve to spend Christmas in snow, but for me... I wan to be in NYC!! Partying, or just walking around the streets form 12 am till like, early in the morning.... I totally LOVE big cities!!! The nightlife, the skycrappers and countless more!!! @.@ I really hope that one day, jsut one day... I'll be able to do so... Aww... It'll be SOOOOOO kwel!

But for now, I would be really contented to just spend my Chirstmas in KL this year... Kinda doubt for it to happen, because my dad has already booked our tickets , to and fro form West Malaysia.. But I'm uncertain of the date... =S let's just hope we'll be able to spend XMAS in KL!!! Or else... I would be like persuading my dad to allow me to do so... Haha...

FeW MorE MonThS...

Yes, indeed you can probably guess what I'm most looking for right now... The long hols which starst at around october or november... I really am keeping my fingers crossed.

School's tsarting tomorrow. And yeah... i still didn't complete my homeworks like what i had intented to do at first palce. Call me stupid, call me dunzo, call me forgetful,... but I can't figure out the things that i had done throughout this whole week of holidays which had eaten up so much of my time that I had bloody forget to complete a whole whooping 7 chapter notes of History, Physics exercises and Chemistry homeowrk that I've been like... delaying since the begining of this semester...

I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I badly want to change and excel... But I'm often bein g pulled back. It's like... I know I can absorb the lssons IF i want. IF i am determined, i would certainly excel and be one of the top... but I'm such a friggin lazy biatch... And my determination often just burns out like a raw popcorn being put inside the oven to pop. At first, the popcorn will be eager to like pop, but after pop-ing, there's nothing left but to wait for it to be eatn... So, what's the connection? haha i'm such a crapper... Aww... @@

Enduring with challanges is indeed a part of life that cannot avoided... I know, I know. But i'm like a hiker, who has made her way to the middle of the mountain,... I cna get to the peak, IF i wanted, but since the backpack i'm carrying is getting heavier... Since I'm so worn out of having to climb up, I avoided doing so and insitead linger around the same level...

What the heck is the matter with me? There's only a few more precious moments of being a forth former in my school. WHat the hell am i doing killing time like every second that pass did not matter at all? What is worng with me? i badly need to get an answer... Life is such a complicated thing. i've come to a point in my life where I am reluctant to move on... missing the good ol' days that has pass, not taking the opportunities given to me... What the hell am i wasting? Whta the heck has happen to you, Chew Mei yng?!?!!?? WHAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?!

I figure that... i've only got a few weeks left in form 4... Next year would be my last year... I'm tired... I'm tired of bieng looked down upon, being stepped, being ridiculed like I'm such a useless freak who is unable to get to where I want... At this point of my life, i'm getting more and more ambituous, aiming high and unaffraid of failing... But WHAT'S STOPPING ME?!?!?! I can't figure... I can't try... And I'm reluctant to move on...

IF... IF i really try... tyr to make these IFs get out of my vocabulary and instead, WORK THEM OUT, i'm certain that I will get ot where I want. I guess that, by working my arse off these few final months in Form Four, sitting for the 2nd semester exam and tying to excel with it, then get a fully deserving break... That is what I should do... But even if it's the hols... WOn't I be stuck to studingy... Geez... Why am i so indicisive? WHy can't I be more mature??? being sixteen is no useif you have a mentallity of a kiddy...

I cna do it!!! It's only a few more weeks after all!! AZA AZA FIGHTING!!!!!!! =S Lord, HELP ME!! I NEED YOU DESPERATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SwEET SiXtEEN

=D... Officially sixteen!! WEll, not quite... =S I'm born at like, 7.50 am? So... few more hours away???

Haha... well... 16 years old. Boy, am I old!! Huhuhu... but i don't mind one bit, at all!!! I'm really thankful for all the birthday smses and also the gifts that had been given to me. WEll, a lot of early birthday gifts form unexpected people... I'm so greatful!!! Just feel greatful enough that there ARE acutally people we CAN remember my burfdae!! Tee-hee!!!

Sokay... I guess that since it's my burfday, this blog should also get a birthday skin!!! Hehehe... Trying to search for 'em!!! ^^ Well, i'm old!!! hahaha... Hope it won't be a boring celebration!!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you, for yet completing another year in my life. You have been here with me, the times when I needed you the most you have never forsaken me. You've shown me, the way of life that made me felt touched. But then and tehn again oh, Lord, I've forsaken and taken you for granted....

Lord, please accept my repntance of sins... Take away the guilt in my heart... Most of all, Lord, please take away the burden that has been stucked inside my heart through these 15 years, and nowm, 16 years on this earth... Lord, may your will and not my will be done in my life now, forever and for always. I love you Jesus!

AMEN!

BLoG SkiN?

woot~~ i have to like... create a fake post to see how this skin looks for my blog... ahha... =p